Gaslighting

Hello, My Name Is Gaslighting.

Gaslighting is when a person manipulates your mental state into questioning or distrusting your reality and sanity. Fun Fact: The word ‘gaslighting’ actually comes from the 1944 movie Gaslight starring Ingrid Bergman.

It will have you…

1) Confused if you are a victim since gaslighting isn’t visibly abusive in the traditional sense. There are usually no signs of physical abuse.

2) Feeling a low self-worth and self-esteem; can make you feel incredibly helpless.

3) Genuinely believing the lies you’re being told, distorting your perception of reality.

4) Distancing yourself from your relationships with others (friends, family) because gaslighter’s try to isolate their victims from their loved ones.

5) Blaming yourself for the emotional trauma you are currently enduring.

Okay, now, how do I move forward?

1) Remember, Gaslighting isn’t about you: it’s about the gaslighter’s need for power and superiority. People who gaslight are very insecure and this is their way of feeling safe. 

2) You need to accept that they are very, very unlikely to change their behavior. It’s the only behavior they know to deal with the world. Letting go of your wish for things to be different is crucial. 

3) Develop a healthy amount of detachment from the gaslighter. Build a support system that you can clarify your true reality with if things seem to be spiralling out of control. 

4) We know, We know… Total detachment can be hard, so it’s important to maintain rationality. Journaling about a particular situation from your own point of view can help with that.

Post-Gaslight Affirmation

This isn’t about me. I am in control of my reality, let [said person] have their alternative facts.

Source: The Gaslight Effect, Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker; Researcher: Devmi Epaarachchi