Toxic Positivity
Morgan Brittani
Hello, My Name Is Toxic Positivity.
Toxic Positivity is the ineffective overgeneralization of a positive, optimistic state of mind across all situations we face in life (whether those situations are upsetting or joyful). This state of mind is what’s called toxic positivity, and leads to denial and minimization of life events, which deprives us of the authentic human emotional experience.
Toxic Positivity leads to…
1) More likely to find yourself secretly thinking about the issue you are trying to avoid
2) Facing more suffering then you would have needed to
3) Increased internal psychological stress
4) Worsening of current mental state
5) Depression and/or anxiety
6) Substance abuse
7) Disrupted sleep
8) Trauma + PTSD
Toxic Positivity includes:
1) Refusal to accept an outcome that didn’t go in your favour (job offer, audition, grades etc.)
2) Pretending that a traumatic situation didn’t occur
3) Minimizing guilt or shame
4) “It is what it is” - yes, that may be so, but we need to accept the negative emotions that we get.
5) Hiding your real feelings
6) Getting angry at others for not “being positive!”
so instead of saying…
1) “Just stay positive!” - instead try “Tell me how you are feeling right now. I am here to listen to how you feel.”
2) “There is no place for negativity in your life!” - instead try “Feeling anguish and suffering makes us human, and is a part of life. There is nothing wrong with the emotions you are feeling.”
3) “It’s all going to work out!” - instead try, “I’m sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Is there anything I can do to help ease your burdens? I am listening.”
Source: Psychology Today, The Cut; Researcher: Devmi Epaarachchi