4:44, I Apologize
Morgan Daniels
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When I first heard that Jay-Z had released 4:44, I was excited. However, last night when I saw Lemonade trending on twitter, I got confused. "Lemonade? Why is lemonade trending isn't it Jay-Z that came out with a new album?" Those were just some of the many thoughts going through my head.
See, Lemonade was healing for a girl that had gotten her heart broken by the man she thought she loved. Lemonade for some is a refreshing drink on a hot summers day. For me, Lemonade had a deeper meaning. When Beyonce dropped that album, Lemonade became soul food. See I heard Lemonade and knew I'd be alright. I knew it wasn't my fault.
I knew one day, "I'd heal and it would be glorious."
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But, I digress this isn't about Lemonade this is about 4:44. The apology. The apology so many black women needed but never got. The words that turned a healing into a full recovery. The words that reminded us once more, "We are love."
Jay-Z said, "I apologize to all the women who's emotions I toyed with because I was emotionless. I apologize 'cause at your best you are love."
I was emotionless. These words take me back. I remember I wanted to see the one that hurt me feel the same pain that I was feeling.
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I did not know if it was right or wrong of me to feel that way. That's just how I felt. 4:44 made three words pop in my head: Accountability, Healing, and Vulnerability.
1. Accountability. After listening to 4:44, I realize like Jay-Z we must hold ourselves accountable. It's more than saying I am sorry. It is showing you are sorry. It is getting to the root of why you did what you did. It is understanding that cheating is deeper than cheating. Cheating happens because of something within.
Jay-Z said, "I was emotionless." A part of me wants to ask him, why?
2. Healing. The moral of the story is simple. People hurt people. People cheat on other people. People lie to people they love. But we must remember that our situation does not have to be our destination. We must sort through our emotions, seek counseling, figure it out. We have the power to change if we really want to.
3. But overall, 4:44, was vulnerability. Sometimes we have to be vulnerable for our loved ones to truly understand us.
Sometimes we have to be vulnerable so that we too can recover, even if it's from ourselves.